So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I had to cum in my sink.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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