I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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