Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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