she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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