some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
