If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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