Need sex. Gaining weight.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
