They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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