there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
