I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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