But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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