I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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