no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just want to make out with him forever
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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