The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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