Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
