My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
