Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
