Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
