how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
