I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize