I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
