We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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