Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
