I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
