therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
