The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
