do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i now understand why vodka
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
