i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize