I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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