He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
