Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
