I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize