I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
