im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
