that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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