I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
