I just saw a hot homeless man
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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