You really coming over, don't trick.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
