Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
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