is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
jump out the window naked night went bad
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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