im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
