What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
