I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
