I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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