No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
