Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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