What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
