the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
