Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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