their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
