I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
