names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize