If i come over, it means nothing
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
