She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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