I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
