im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize