does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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