I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
