Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
