marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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