are you still at the devil's house?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
