remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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