um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
