I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
