I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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