Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
