My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
