wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
