Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
