I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
