Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize
