Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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