i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
