Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
