Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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