direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
