what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
